Is it possible that the Americans and Canadians have too many fat cells lodged between their chin and forehead? We appear to be absorbing too much fast food, fast news and political nonsense without digesting much of its impact. Let’s prepare to eat.
1. Bernie Madoff just received a 150 year sentence for his part in a $60 Billion ponzi scheme. The rest of the bankers, who ran a $10 Trillion ponzi scheme, are laying low and eating hot dogs. You can meet Bernie at the Toronto Zoo and throw “Chicken Gold McNuggets” at him.
2. We are hearing that things are getting better. That’s like adding more bread crumbs to your hamburger patty. Canadians have lost $500 billion of net worth in the first quarter of 2009, provincial and municipal governments are raising taxes at all levels and the Federal Government bailout is where? Who got the money?
3. Miller, McGuinty and Harper just keep adding to the Public workforce without accountability. The friends and family payroll corruption budget is like the U.S. Black Technology Budget. We just keep paying more and getting less. You get the same feeling after eating a Big Mac. It’s called gas.
4. The global derivative losses approximate $550 to $1,000 Trillion dollars. The same amount of calories in one Burger King French fry order. Does anyone understand the impact of these numbers?
5. Here’s a real whopper! In the past two months China and Russia have been dumping U.S. currency for oil and other currencies. If they start devaluing the U.S. currency the economic consequences could be disastrous. Something to do with inflation.
6. The price of gold will continue to climb and more and more TV commercials will ask that you sell your gold so you can go out and buy a Big Bacon Classic with your new shoes.
7. Unemployment continues to increase, pensioners have less disposable income, university graduates can’t get jobs (unless they are part of the family, friends and freemason hiring pool), retail sales keep dropping and H1N1 is on the horizon.
8. Does everyone know that both Canada and the U.S. have made it law that to have every citizen be vaccinated, sometime in October of this year, for H1N1. Many have speculated that H1N1 was a lab created virus. No doubt the vaccine is too. Has anyone asked as to the chemical composition of this vaccine? What happens if its contents are lethal or it has serious side effects? Right now, I feel like a Filet of Fish.
9. Are we ready for the Dow Jones index to hit 5,000 by the end of this year?
Proposed short term relief - not Rolaids:
1. Legalize marijuana. The tax revenue would have a tremendously positive impact on the economy. This would take care of the nation’s health care budget, stop the costly policing of Indian reserves selling illegal cigarettes and it would create a very happy society. We could even cut back on the police budget.
2. Legalize prostitution. It appears that Kijiji, Craigslist and the Backpages have created an underground economy valued in the millions or billions of dollars. With every piece of ass we should get a pinch of taxes. Let’s go from cyberspace to regulated brothels.
3. Propose a happy month – “anything” bought in a specific month would be exempt from PST and GST.
4. Let’s have public auctions. Sell off the TTC, garbage collection services, snow removal contracts, publicly owned real estate and the myriad of assets controlled by incompetent boobs.
5. For every unfulfilled political promise politicians should spend a year in jail. Within a decade all the criminals will have served time and every half-way house will have charter members.
Thank you,Joseph Pede
No comments:
Post a Comment