Understanding Power

Posted September 5, 2009

Abraham Lincoln was absolutely right – “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power”.

Singular words definitely have a more profound meaning when subjectively interpreted by the reader. When we expand their definition we get more clarity. When we expand those definitions or phrases we typically get verbal diarrhoea.

The word power will mean different things to varying people. In fact, the grammatical grid is quite extensive. Ignoring power’s absolute definitions we will review the following forms of the expanded word:

Wind Power – It’s what politicians create when they stand up in the various legislatives assemblies. They begin by pontificating to a prepared opposition question and end by flagellating when they resume their seating position.

Solar Power – This is the dollar amount of vacation funds spent by public service employees using tax-payer money. There should be an award for this particular graft. We should call it the “Bob Sun Ray” award. Here’s a guy who has had more public appointments and government postings than anyone in Canadian history. I wonder what his total monthly pension amounts too? I just know taxpayers have been burned by this guy.

Hydro Power – This type of power is best measured after our MP’s and MPP’s concurrently utilize the urinals in the legislative buildings. We can measure the water pressure and alcoholic content after this magical force sterilizes the sewage plants with one singular and potent “leak”. Generally happens after lunch. Will soon be introduced in all Houses as a “Green Initiative”.

Electric Power – This measures the amount of “razzle dazzle” a Prime Minsiter or Premier offers up after a cabinet minister has screwed up. The after-effects of such “razzle dazzle”, is jock-itch and haemorrhoids. When David Miller does this it only means he has hired another family member or friend.

Sexual Power – This is well documented in the “Forward” of every politicians secret Handbook. They receive it when they take the oath of office. The title of the book is aptly named “How to screw the Electorate and get away with it!” They even have a handbook for public servants – “How to bend and how to bend the Rules!”

Political Power – It’s an intangible power that Politicians have acquired not by legitimate means or by mandate but what they have sequestered by lies, corruption and nepotism. You remove this disease but placing each political incumbent in jail prior to taking office and put him/her in a cell with Bubba or Bubbaline. After the sexual power has been exerted upon them they will always walk the straight line with bow legs. This would replace both handbooks and be renamed “How to bend but not break”.

Let’s hear for Prime Minister Harper. This guy was going to reform the Senate. In fact all he has done is to add more Anglos, a few more Francophones and perhaps some Jews to the Senate. Senate positions they will hold for the next decade or more. This guy must be one of the biggest racists in Canadian history. I wonder when an Italian will make the Senate roll? Don’t get upset my dear little Harper, after all Italians founded this country, built it and have made a major contribution to its growth and success - just not enough to merit a seat in the House of SubLime. The poor Chinese and Afro-Canadians must still be subjects of colonialism. The Greeks and Portuguese are relatively newcomers and will have to wait the initiation period – never.

Let’s hear for McGuinty. This guy keeps giving our money to incompetent public servants who steal our money according to the Public Servant Handbook. First with eHealth, then the OLG and who knows what else is looming in the background. Please one scandal at a time. After all, how many $400,000.00 salaries can we expose at one time? Did anyone else apply for this job? Never made the interview, hah!

Miller is simply the best! How do you screw the local constituents and blame the provincial and federal levels of government? This guy has put in place more taxes and fees than one could imagine. Is his family bigger than the Kennedy family? I simply did not think we had that many jobs available in the City. Sorry I forgot, it’s all those internal postings that qualified candidates never get to apply for. The human resources at City Hall has been trained to ask one question – Who do you know? OK good.

In the end we have no character just a bunch of impotent characters. Finally real power is the power of free speech and free thinking.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede